life in and around NYC is insane

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

eldercare update, again

So...

The meeting about Marvin's future....

Drew and Marvin met with the facility's social worker, and the social worker from Adult Protective Services.  Shelley was invited, but didn't show up.  Drew was very surprised at that. 

Drew was very businesslike at the meeting, and the social workers were very happy to be dealing with a calm, rational adult. 

It became abundantly clear to everyone at the meeting that the best place for Marvin is in a skilled nursing facility. The decision wasn't finalized, however.  Marvin is competent to make his own decisions, and the social workers felt it was best to let him get used to the idea of permanent placement in a nursing home before finalizing any plans. 

Drew is now the contact person if anything happens to Marvin.  APS has been handling Marvin's finances for awhile, and they will continue to do so.  But the APS social worker handed Drew a check for $75, payable to Marvin and endorsed over to Drew, so that Drew can take care of some of Marvin's day-to-day needs. 

Marvin needs sneakers.  And the only clothes he has with him are the items  Drew retrieved from Shelley's house that first time we went to the nursing home a few weeks ago.  He needs more clothes, especially shirts he can wear in the spring and summer.  Drew isn't sure he'll be able to get any of Marvin's things from Shelley, so a shopping trip is in order.  Marvin's brother Les said he'd pay for anything Marvin needs.

As for Shelley...

Well, the APS social worker said "Shelley called my supervisor, asked to have me pulled from the case, and said she was going to 'sue APS'.  As you can see, I'm still here."

Shelley told a mutual friend that she didn't go to the meeting because  she didn't want to deal with "that horrible APS lady."

Meanwhile, she asked her friend, the one who works in a nursing home, for health care proxy forms.   Apparently she thinks that if Marvin designates her his health care proxy, she can take him out of the facility and bring him back to her house, regardless of what he wants or what's in his best interest.    she had the same misconceptions about Power of Attorney, that somehow  she was "in charge" of Marvin, and that she could do whatever she wanted, without being accountable for her actions.  That's why APS took over his finances.

Sigh.  Shelley thinks Drew is doing  all of this to spite her.  Drew really didn't want to be dealing with any of this.  He did this for his father, and hoped he wouldn't have to step in to d it for Marvin. 

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