life in and around NYC is insane

Thursday, April 9, 2015

and yet another eldercare update

The meeting at the rehab facility was supposed to be on Tuesday, but was postponed, and is now set for tomorrow. 

Shelley told a mutual friend that "Drew is trying to take Marvin away from me," as if we were talking about a puppy, or a toy, not an old man who needs to be taken care of.

Drew told Shelley that "Marvin is 88 and not in good health, you have to plan out what you're going to do if he can't come back to your house.  You also have to consider what  you're going to do when he dies."

Her response?  "I don't want to hear this, I don't want to think about this."

Well, at least she's consistent. 

My mother-in-law was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in the summer of 1990.  At the time, my in-laws were living on Long Island, but were in the middle of a move to Florida.  They had been planning their Florida retirement for years.  They finally  moved to the Gulf Coast in November of 1990, just before Thanksgiving.  They had four years together in Florida, until my mother-in-law passed away in June 1994. 

Drew and I visited several times, we brought Jen and Becca to see their grandparents. 

But what about Shelley? 

Not once in four years.  Not once.  It was as if she decided, in her head, that if she couldn't see her mother's illness, it didn't really exist.

She finally came to Florida after her mother died.

It was so awkward when I, the daughter-in-law, had to show her, the daughter, where her mother kept the pots and pans, the dishes and silverware....

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