songbird's crazy world

(cross posted at Midcentury Modern Moms ) Jen said something to Drew the other day about how her housemates are all turning 21 in the next weeks and months, and how they're going to be able to legally buy beer for their house parties. And Drew told her "You're 20 years old, you're not allowed to drink." There's a huge difference between underage drinking at 14 and underage drinking at 20. The reality is, she's been going to college parties since...well, since she started college. I remember her telling me about one party, when she was a freshman, where she got doused with beer because "some guy at the party was drunk and rowdy but the people whose house it was couldn't throw him out..." She's 20 years old, in most countries around the world she could go into a bar or liquor store and make a purchase without having to bring fake ID. When I was her age, I could legally buy alcoholic beverages in the State of New York. I th...

Not as silly a question as it may sound. seems becca's roommate -- the one who went home -- is the girl who brought the microwave. Becca always used the microwave to boil water for her tea at home. didn't have a clue how to do it on the stove, like we did in the stone age.

(cross posted at Midcentury Modern Moms ) Not only do you have to worry about the way your child drives....you also have to worry about all the other morons on the road. Once again I am dealing with insurance adjusters, tow trucks, body shops, accident reports.... Jen was broadsided as she was pulling out of a parking lot onto the roadway. Jen says the other car came out of nowhere, that she looked both ways before pulling out of the lot and didn't see anyone coming. The guy who hit her says he was doing 30 MPH....but the damage to her car makes me doubt it. The accident happened just south of a very busy intersection, and my guess is that he wanted to make it through the intersection before the light changed.  And, oh yeah, the guy who hit her is NOT a teen driver...he's older than I am.  I keep telling both girls "Drive as if everyone else on the road is a moron, because most of them are." And now we have to figure out how Jen is going to get to work wh...

(cross posted at Midcentury Modern Moms ) So last week I mentioned that Jen was involved in an accident, that her air bag deployed and that she walked away without a scratch. The same cannot be said of her car. I bought the car two years ago, right after Jen got her driver's license.  Paid $2500 for a 1996 Chevy Cavalier -- the car had 150,000 miles on it, but the engine had been replaced when the car had only 70,000 miles on it (that must have been a story!).  I expected the girls to share the car, I never expected Jen to need a car at college, and I expected the car to last about 3 years, maybe 4 if we got lucky.  (I don't believe in buying brand new, expensive cars for teenagers, even if I could afford it....which I can't.) Well, when Jen called me and told me that she had an accident with the car and that the airbag went off....I knew even before I saw the car that it was time to say goodbye to the Chevy. So now she is without wheels.  and she needs a c...

I have no problem sharing my shampoo and conditioner. Use them any time you want. But please. ..when I get into the shower and reach for my conditioner I expect it to be there. ..not in your beach bag. If you need conditioner at your friend's pool, use a travel bottle.

(cross posted at Midcentury Modern Moms ) So I successfully taught two daughters to drive. Now I have two daughters who firmly believe "have car, will travel." I'm sort of used to it with Jen.  shes had her license for two years now,  she got her car right after she passed the road test.  That first summer, she relished her new-found freedom, driving all over our community. She drove to work, she drove to the store, she drove to hang out with her friends.  Oh, my, did she hang out with her friends!  I spent many evenings waiting to hear the car pull up on the driveway, unable to sleep until I heard the car door slam.  We had many long discussions about what time was reasonable for a young lady to come home at night, especially on a weeknight when mom has to go to work in the morning. Becca  got her license a few months ago, and got a car just a few weeks ago...and already she's starting to drive all over creation. She drives to school (she's a ...

Our high school schedules Senior Prom for the same weekend as graduation. the prom is Friday night, the graduation follows on Sunday. This year Senior Prom will be June 25. last night Becca wanted to discuss prom. or rather, after-prom. she wants to rent a house in the Hamptons. can you tell I am nervous? Jen and her friends never did that....their after-prom activities involved taking the limo into the city and going to a comedy club. That's what Becca did last year, when she went to her friend's senior prom. Becca's group of friends want to spend Friday night through Sunday morning at a beach house. Becca and Justin are in charge of planning this event. they plan on a group of 30 - 40 kids. Becca tells me that the kids on the guest list are in the "goody-two-shoes" category, I won't have to be concerned about drinking or drugs. "Don't worry, mom." I'm worried.

(cross posted at Midcentury Modern Moms ) Exciting, frustrating, exasperating, frenetic, aggravating and thrilling, perhaps....but never dull. My ex-husband Drew has a friend...a single father who was awarded primary custody of his one child, a duaghter who is now 18 and away at college.  The young lady came home for Christmas.  when she returned to school in early January, her father told Drew "I'm glad she went back to school, now my life can return to its peaceful routine."  Drew was appalled. But I understood. Drew hasn't lived full-time with our daughters since they were toddlers.  He has no idea how living with a teen -- especially an older teen -- can turn your world upside down. Heck, mine can turn my world upside down with just one long-distance phone call. Jen has decided to take one more step towards maturity and independence.  She has decided to move off campus for her junior year. I knew this was coming.  Two years ago, at f...

You pick up the newspaper, and there it is.  A story about a car accident, and a teenage victim is dead.  There are questions -- was the driver speeding?  were drugs or alcohol involved?  There are photos of the young man or woman, a sweet-faced child on the edge of adulthood.  there are the lamentaitons from friends and family:  "He was a good kid."  "She was too young to die."  There are grief counselors at his or her school to console classmates and friends.  A yearbook page is dedicated to a lost classmate. You read about it every day.  It's almost mundane. Until it happens to someone you know. Then, every time you pick up a newspaper, it's like it's happening to you, to your children, all over again. I see an article in the paper and I'm flashing back again. I've blogged before about the worst Homecoming  ever.  October 2006.  A day of celebration and school spirt at my daughters' school that became a day o...

(cross posted at Midcentury Modern Moms ) Becca and I will soon be doing another round of .....the college road trip. It feels like I've been doing the college road trip thing forever!!!! My girls are two years apart in age. Jen is currently a college sophomore and Becca is a high school senior. My life on the road began during Jen's senior year in high school. Prior to her senior year Jen had no desire whatsoever to even discuss her college plans, let alone actually visit a college. But when senior year hit...we packed our bags and off we went. At first I it was overwhelming...most of the other students had begun to look at colleges in their junior year, and we were playing catch up. I am a college graduate, but it's been many years since I was a student, and I felt a little bit like a fish out of water....until I began to realize that most of the changes colleges have made are in the details, the overall experience isn't that much different from when I w...

tragedy struck our home Thursday night. Becca broke up with her boyfriend. the boy she swore she would love forever. "forever" lasted about 8-9 months. I guess in teen world that constitutes a lifetime. the ex is a nice kid, I liked him and I liked his parents. but to tell the truth, he's "geographically undesirable " -- he doesn't live in our town, it's20 minutes of highway driving to get to his house. I won't miss that drive at all. on Saturday I noticed she wasn't wearing her own coat, she was wearing a red and black lacrosse team jacket. there are two high schools in our town. Becca goes to High School West. their school colors are red and white. the other school, High School East, uses red and black for its colors. at least this time she picked a boy closer to home! I'd say her recovery is complete.

it was snowing when I drove Becca to the party tonight, and I was so glad it was a sleepover because I didn't want to have to pick her up at the end of the evening. not that the birthday girl lives far - it's only about a mile or so - but I dislike driving while...while...while the snow is falling. so you can imagine my joy several hours later, when Becca sent me a text saying she had a headache and wanted to come home.

I am trying to decide if letting Jen get her driver's license was the best thing I ever did...or the worst. Bright and early on her 16th birthday, which also happened to be Election Day 2006, my firstborn child took that gigantic leap into adulthood and made her very first appearance at the DMV. There she got to experience, for the first time in her young life, the torture that I, an experienced driver, have known for all of my adult life. Paperwork...wait for your number to be called...more paperwork...she was photographed, she took a written test....and was handed a temporary learner's permit. So now she was legally allowed to get behind the wheel of a car. That's when the fun really began! Four days later she had her first fender-bender. She wanted to make a left turn...I saw a car coming from the opposite direction...but before my mouth could form the words "don't turn yet"...she did. Well, at least the only thing that hurt ....was paying the repair ...