life in and around NYC is insane

Sunday, November 30, 2014

The challenge of aging parents

Which is worse, the physical deterioration or the mental/emotional issues?

Even on a good day my father isn't "all there". He can sound almost normal at times, asking me what I did at work, how are things at Drew's house, and what is the lawyer doing about the accident? But then he will ask you to take him home, not realizing he's sitting in his own dining room. Mor he will start telling a story about the past, and you have to wonder if it's real or if it's something he only imagined.

On a bad day ... He's fight demons no one else can see.

My mother is also starting to decline. There are so many things she just does not remember. Not just details, but Important events and things, like when she broke her elbow. It's worse when she has had a glass or two of wine. The other night she actually forgot who I am ... She knew my name, but didn't realize she is my mother. I had to remind her who I am ...

My grandmother was in her 80's when dementia set in. At first we joked that grandma was watching a different movie than the rest of us. Eventually she reached a point where she needed care 24/7/365...but before my mother could make suitable arrangements, my grandmother became physically ill and passed away.

My grandmother's sister Shirley came to the funeral. She and my grandmother were like two peas in a pod, only Shirley was not affected by dementia ...

It occurred to me that I'd really lost my grandmother several years before her body died.

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