life in and around NYC is insane

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

medical matters

When this message posts, I expect to be at the radiologist's, drining some godawful chemicals in preparation for my semi-annual CAT scan.

Most of the time I can forget that I am a cncer survivor. Most of the time I can feel almost normal.

But then I have to go for some test -- like the CAT scan -- or trek over to a doctor's office for a check-up, and it all comes back to me.

Can you believe it's been 4 years? December 2004. when I walked into Ilene's office, I knew I was having problems, but we both assumed it was hormonal -- just a few months shy of my 45th birthday, it wouldn't have been unusual for perimenopausal symptoms. Ilene scheduled a D & C for the end of January, 2005. I don't know which one of us was more surprised by the pathology report. But 2005 became my nightmare year -- surgery, radiation, chemotherapy. And a whole group of new friends, each with the same first name -- "Doctor".

four years later I am feeling healthy, far removed from those agonizing days.

but I am very high maintenance now.

And that fear is always in the back of my mind.

wish me luck, guys, for another clean bill of health.


Suzanne said...

Aww, hugs to you.

That C word is damn scary. It's amazing that four years have passed-almost to that coveted 'in remission' title. As if that will erase the fear.

songbird's crazy world said...

you know, most people feel invincible until they have to deal with a serious illness. then, those of use who have been sick, well, we never forget, even when we do feel healthy.

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