life in and around NYC is insane

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

contemplative mood

So yesterday was R's funeral.  I wasn't a close friend, I didn't go to the funeral -- showing up at the wake and buying a Mass card will suffice. 

But I can't help thinking that R was far too young to die.  She was just two weeks shy of her 66th birthday.

She had a massive heart attack.  Everyone was sad, but no one was shocked.  They said she hadn't looked healthy for months.  She was a diabetic who didn't follow the regimen, didn't eat right, didn't take her medications as directed. 

On the heels of R's wake comes the news that L is back in the hospital.

L is the friend I've  mentioned before, she has  serious health issues and has spent the better part of the last 9 months in treatment for diabetes-related conditions. 

L is also 66 years old.

66.  A mere 10 years older than I am. 

And so I find myself feeling sorry for R's family on their loss, and feeling terrible about the situation L finds herself in.

But there's also a part of me learning a life lesson from all of this.  Because yes, as much as we care about others as they deal with illness and death, in the end we are all self-centered, all concerned about ourselves. 

My health has taken a beating these last 12 years:  cancer,  gallbladder, anemia, high blood pressure.

Where will I be in 10 years?

I'm optimistic.  I've lost a considerable amount of weight, I'm no longer taking blood pressure medication.  I go to the gym and to yoga.  I feel better, more energetic than I have in years. 

My doctor is happy.  I am happy.

I hope I can keep this going. 

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