Frazzled

So my dad remains in rehab.    He's coming home for a visit Sunday (Father's Day) but I don't know when he will be home for good.

My mom and my sisters have been spending a lot of time at the rehab.  My father certainly does not lack for company.  In fact, he has more company, more often, than any other resident at the rehab.  F and A have told me that I am the selfish, unreliable one because I haven't put my life on hold for a month.  Loved F's Freudian slip.  She meant to say "It's not for us.  It's for Daddy."  What she actually said was "It's not just for us . . ."  Those two thought it was cool to scream at me in stereo while I was trying to eat my dinner . . .

My days lately . . .I leave the house by 7 AM for that lovely 2-hour commute from the Island to godforesaken Jersey City, put in a full day of work, have a lovely commute home . . .get off the train and head over to rehab.   I get to rehab around 7:15-7:45, depending on the train and the traffic.  The idea is to spend an hour or so with my dad, go home, have dinner and get ready for the next day.

That's how it's supposed to work, anyhow.

Tuesday night I left rehab and went to CVS to pick up a few things for myself and for the girls.  OK, no problem.  Wednesday night I found myself in the supermarket - we desperately needed a few things ($100 later . . .)  OK, not a problem.

Last night, THAT was a problem.

H and my mom were at the rehab when I got there.  Dad was asleep.  H told me Dad was having a bad time of it, he was agitated and anxious all day.   She asked me to stay and watch him while she took Mom home, and either she ir F and A would be back shortly.  I asked her to be back before 9, there were things I needed to do at home and that I was exhausted.

So I watched my dad sleep, and it was clear he was having a bad time of it.  It's normal for him to talk and move about while he's dreaming.  Last night his words and gestures conveyed his continuing agitation.  But what really concerned me was that he was trying to get out of bed, and I was afraid he would fall.  I told the RN on duty about my concern, but I didn't want to leave while he was in that state until my sisters were back.

Well, p.s., I didn't get home until 10. 

And this morning I was so frazzled . . .I had a letter in my tote bag, planned to go to the post office at lunch to mail it, but when I got to work it was gone.   I am hoping that the letter - and my Chilly Jilly wrap - are in the car, I am hoping I didn't lose them on the train.

And I am overjoyed that today is FRIDAY!!!