life in and around NYC is insane

Thursday, November 20, 2008

why is it...

that something you thought was absolutely horrible when it happened turns out to be for the best?

Jen spent four fabulous years on the high school cheer team. she wasn't always happy -- she didn't move up from JV to varisty as quickly as she would have liked, she didn't get a spot on the competition team until her junior year, and she was not named captain even though she felt she'd be a good leader for the team. but overall, cheer was a positive experience for her, she learned to work hard to move up, and the coaches encouraged sportsmanship, teamwork and a positive outlook -- and would not put up with drama queens.

Becca, on the other hand, thought the dance team was where she wanted to be. dance team is one small squad, not divided into JV or varsity. very different atmosphere, the coach is all about "winning". I couldn't believe some of the sentiments I heard come out of my own child's mouth --- 2nd place was considered "losing". girls who would "sit out" at practice, not show up for fundraisers, etc., got a "free pass" if they could dance well, and girls who put in the effort but weren't as technically proficient were not rewarded for their efforts. Becca was constantly stressed about the practices and comeptitions, sometimes because of the drama, sometimes because she was afraid of making a msitake, sometimes because the hours interfered with study.

freshman year, the moms were all "grounded" and treid to disspate some of the BS. sophomore year, a lot of the moms of the new members bought into the hype, and were just as bad as -- or maybe worse than -- their daughters.

Becca got cut from the team in the spring, and she was devastated.

the coach did her a favor.

she's a lot less stressed this year. she has more time for study, and she's pursing other interests...she's president of the Spanish club, something she wouldn't have odne if she had that huge time commitment to dance.

sigh...I miss watching her perform, but overall...


Suzanne said...

Let's be honest-being president of the Spanish club can open far more doors for her than being on the dance team. Other than learning how to deal with snarky people.

songbird's crazy world said...

yeah..she also wants to do a People to People International leadership program next summer, she'll spend a week at Harvard. I wouldn't be able to swing that if I had to pay for the dance team trips -- they go to Disney and to Myrtle Beach.

we both know she wasn't headed for a career in dance, she's headed for a good college and an interesting career -- maybe international studies.

Joyce-Anne said...

I think being President of the Spanish club far outweighs being a member of a dance team. At least, on a college application, it shows she has leadership skills. Good for your daughter.

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