life in and around NYC is insane

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Lord gave us children to make sure our lives would never be dull

(cross posted at Midcentury Modern Moms)

Exciting, frustrating, exasperating, frenetic, aggravating and thrilling, perhaps....but never dull.

My ex-husband Drew has a friend...a single father who was awarded primary custody of his one child, a duaghter who is now 18 and away at college.  The young lady came home for Christmas.  when she returned to school in early January, her father told Drew "I'm glad she went back to school, now my life can return to its peaceful routine."  Drew was appalled.

But I understood.

Drew hasn't lived full-time with our daughters since they were toddlers.  He has no idea how living with a teen -- especially an older teen -- can turn your world upside down.

Heck, mine can turn my world upside down with just one long-distance phone call.

Jen has decided to take one more step towards maturity and independence.  She has decided to move off campus for her junior year.

I knew this was coming.  Two years ago, at freshman orientation -- which took place  in June, while she was actually still in high school -- the University's Director of Housing explained that there is very little dorm space available for upper classmen, and that most students are able to find decent rentals in the area and move off campus in their junior or senior year.    And somehow I knew that my daughter would not be one to stay on campus, especially if all her friends were moving out. 

Still, to actually be dealing with it...

there's a certain sense of security when your child lives in a dorm. You know that she's not dealing with her living arraingements all on her own. there will be a roof over her head, and she won't go hungry because she has access to the dining hall. You know that if she has issues with a roommate, she can have the Resident Assistant intervene, and if there's a truly horrible situation, the university will move her to another room. campus security will patrol the area. it's somewhat of a controlled environment -- I've heard of truuly awful things happening in dorms, but for the most part, a dorm is a safe place for a college student to live.

off campus housing is a whole different world.  there's no one to act in loco parentis

I first heard about the plan to move off campus back in December.  There were 5 of them, they'd looked at a house and wanted to rent it....but someone else put down a deposit first.  Frankly, I didn't think they were taking the idea very seriously, didn't think they'd be able to cary it off. 

Then came the phone call in early February..."Mom, I need a check for the deposit on the house ASAP..."

So I started asking "does the rent include utilities?" and "it's a furnsihed house, but what is actually included in 'furnsihed'?"   "what happens if one of your housemates moves out, or doesn't pay the rent?"   And the child was unable to answer ....

Buit the next day, my grown-up daughter called me back, told me "I spoke to the real estate broker, and she said...."  and "if you want to look at the property, Mom, you can see it on the broker's website, it's...."

and then there was the laugh out loud moment....  when Jen called, the broker was on the phone with the parent of one of her prospective housemates.  seems I wasn't the only parent who had many questions.

No comments:

Blog Archive

About Me