So last night I visited my friend, the one who has been in and out of the hospital for months. When we planned our evening, it was supposed to be take out at her house. Instead, I had a burger from the hospital coffee shop.
My friend is not doing well. she has been dealing with the health issues for seven months now, and the planned treatment will take many more weeks. She is lonely, despondent, fearful insecure, needy. She's not sleeping well, and that's affecting her ability to concentrate and to think clearly.
Last night I helped her move from one part of the hospital to another, so that she can begin the next phase of her treatment. the move set off a panic attack, the likes of which I have never seen.
She told me she is convinced she will die in the hospital, that she'll bleed to death during surgery, and that she is resigned to dying, she's ready for it.
I stayed until another friend came to hold her hand.
I am so worried for her. She's going through an unbelievable ordeal. And she's not going to be OK for a long, long time.
life in and around NYC is insane
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