life in and around NYC is insane

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Another this and that

So we are settling back into the routine, the new normal.   My father was the focal point of activity in our house, his illness requiring so much hands-on attention, and now that the funeral and shiva period are over, we are all trying to fill in that gap.

So I'm dragging myself out of bed in the morning to go say Kaddish.  If I cannot manage getting up in the morning, I'll try to make the evening service.  I am finding that the ritual of prayer is soothing. 

I'm worried about the family, of course.  My mother has always been the strong, silent type, hard to read her emotions.  And with her dementia advancing...well, I don't know what she's thinking.  We never leave her home alone, someone is always with her.

Felice and Andrea...well, they were the most involved in my father's  day-to-day care.  They seem to be ok, for now.  The other night they went out shopping, a little retail therapy,  something they haven't done in a long time.  I'm hoping they'll continue to find things to do. 

Honey is wound tight, though.  Always on the verge of meltdown.  She doesn't confide in me, but from what others have said ...well, I worry.

I've been told that my sisters are worried about me.  I haven't spoken to Drew since before the funeral, he did something hurtful and I'm not sure I can forgive him. I've been the Rock of Gibraltar lately.  And no one knows about my mini-meltdown at my Weight Watchers meeting the other night.

Jen and Becca are doing well.  Last weekend they went pumpkin picking with their boyfriends.  It' good to see them both so happy.

I've got this really weird feeling lately.  The last few weeks have been surreal.  I feel like I'm missing the month of October. 

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