life in and around NYC is insane

Friday, December 23, 2011

More about the twins

Well, I know why my sisters don't like me. They think I lack gratitude and that I am a "taker" with no appreciation for all they did for the girls. they won't recognize what they did which offended me. They have no clue how many times, during the crazy divorce years, how many times I had to defend their behavior. I own what I did . . . In trying to ruin Drew's relationship with the girls. Drew owns what he did, in trying to ruin their relationship with my family and me. We have both taken responsibility for it. I allowed the twins to do stuff, too, because it served my purposes at the time. But they refuse to acknowedge that what they did was wrong, that what they did caused me grief in court, that I had to defend their actions to the law guardian and to several judges. I was threatened, numerous times, with a change in custody if my sisters didn't stop "interfering". If that had happened . . .


MJ said...

Good for you and Drew for taking responsibility for your actions when your kids were growing up. I know from personal experience that that can make all the difference in healing from those wounds.

As for your sisters, my best advice (in case you're dying to know what I'm thinking, lol) would be to tell them straight up that while you appreciate their intentions, some (or a lot) of what they did was wrong, and you recognize that now that you're farther along the path, and have seen first hand how it affected your girls. That you cannot be grateful for actions that jeapordized your custody of your daughters, no matter their intentions.

Agree to disagree on this one, maybe? If they try to bring it up, change the subject. Refuse to engage with them on this, because they aren't going to change your mind, and they don't think they did anything wrong. So when they try to start a fight, ask them if they've seen whatever movie.

I've got WAY too much practice with things like this, :).

Good luck!!!

songbird's crazy world said...

It's taken me years to get where I am. Hard to still be dealing with this nonsense, but I have to do what's right for Jen and Becca.

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