Feline Friday

 Ok, Shadow, we’ve had this discussion before, but let me repeat the rules …and add a few more.

 If you follow me into the bathroom, please look before you leap — you’ll avoid getting wet.

And I know you like drinking from the faucet, but please wait until after I have finished brushing my teeth.

Can we please keep the litter in the litter box, not on the floor?

That’s a laundry hamper, not a cat bed.

Your paws do not belong on my kitchen table. Or counters.  Or in the sink or dishwasher.  OR THE STOVETOP.  Especially not the stovetop.  

And it goes without saying that you shouldn’t knock things off the counters; yes, I know, I’ve broken a few things, too, but I didn’t deliberately throw a vase onto the floor.

Please don’t climb into the file cabinet drawers, the kitchen cabinets, or the closets, you’re likely to get trapped when I close the drawer or door.  Just be glad I heard you meowing …

And I am glad you like the keyboard protector, but please  don’t hit my computer monitor.  Last time you did that, you disconnected the monitor from the docking station …

Same thing goes for the tv.  I know you like the movement on the screen, but paws off, please.  I don’t want to have to reconnect tbe cable box again.

Can we not chase toys at midnight? Nighttime is for sleeping.  Or at least pick a toy that doesn’t have a bell inside.

The drawstrings on my sweatpants and hoodie are NOT toys.  I give you plenty of things to play with, leave my clothes alone.  

Just how did that avocado wind up in my bed?  An avocado is not a toy. Please leave the produce alone. 

Soft paws, not claws, if you want to grab my arm or leg. And please stop biting my feet when I’m trying to walk.

If you sit on me while I’m in bed, I prefer to look at your pretty face, not the other end, thankyouverymuch.

I don’t have to get up early on weekends.  Can we try sleeping late once in awhile?  

Please don’t squirm when Jenn cuts your nails, it will go much faster if you cooperate.  And if you’re good, you can play with Katniss and Mavis after your nails are done.

Paws out of the trash can, please.  

I must remind you that dinner will be served at 5:00.  Not 4:00 and definitely not 3:30, and I don’t care how loudly you meow.  You still sound like a squeaky toy, by the way.

And yes, I know my food is much yummier than cat food, and I will share with you.  But do not help yourself. You are a cat, you should expect to eat cat food.  Do not expect to be fed every time I walk into the kitchen.  And I am sorry I let your bowl get empty, I promise not to do that again.

And I know you are very good at jumping and climbing, and the skylight is fascinating, but when you jump up on that door you scare me.

But oh … when you curl up in my lap and purr …. Pure bliss.  Yes, you are my cat, now and forever.

The little mischief maker is six months old now, and she’s been my cat for four months.  I am totally infatuated with this cat!