life in and around NYC is insane

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

my heart hurts

(cross posted at Midcentury Modern Moms)

graduation overwith, the summer is now in full swing.

that means the girls' lives are taken up with summer jobs and social activities.

for Jen, that means she's finished her summer school class (she did very well!) and has started her job as a counselor in a day camp.

for Becca, that means working the same part time job at the mall as she's done since last fall, with hopes of picking up additional hours now that she's about to turn 18.

and, of course, both girls have cars/friends/social events, so they are like phantoms, floating in and out of the house.

and my heart is hurting, because I see my babies growing up and growing away from me.

and it doesn't help that I've had nasty arguments with each of my daughters in the last few days, arguments about small things and about funadamental relationship issues. I feel so broken right now....

last night, the Cantor at our temple called me and asked me to be the minyan maker, the requisite 10th person needed in order to conduct a prayer service. so of course I went. and found myself in tears as I read the words form my prayerbook.

Heal us, O L-rd, and we will be healed; help us and we will be saved; for You are our praise. Grant complete cure and healing to all our wounds; for You, Almighty King, are a faithful and merciful healer. Blessed are You L-rd, who heals the sick of His people Israel.

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