Seder!

Of all the horrors we went through in the spring of 2020, one of the most emotionally wrenching was listening to my daughter Jen cry because the family couldn’t be together for the Passover Seder.  I wanted to cry, too, but I had to be the strong one and reassure her that the pandemic would come to an end eventually, and that we’d all be together again one day.

Passover is the quintessential  Jewish holiday.  The Exodus from Egypt  and the giving of the Law at Mt. Sinai are central to Jewish identity.  The traditions and observances surrounding the holiday focus on home and family.  Being cut off from all of that feels like being cut off from your core being.

The last time my family was together for Passover was in 2019.  So it was with relief and joy that we gathered last weekend to read the Haggadah, to stuff ourselves with matzoh ball soup, brisket, gefilte fish, macaroons, and even chocolate covered matzoh.

We had a chance to remember those who are no longer at our table.  And we got to welcome someone new, Becca’s boyfriend Brendan.

He must think we’re all crazy.  At one point on Friday night, I told him a story about my father.  Dad liked to quote a line from The King and I.  He had four sisters, four daughters and two granddaughters, but no brothers, sons or grandsons, so he’d say “Among so many sheep I am the only ram …is it any wonder I’m the wonder of Siam?”

An hour later my sister told him the same story.

But the best part was my mother’s reaction to Brendan.  You must understand that my mother is 89, and  her health is very poor; she suffers from dementia and a host of physical issues.  These days conversation with her is difficult and usually deals with what she wants to eat or whether she needs a sweater.

But she saw a good-looking young man in the house and she perked right up!  She started asking him questions, like his age, where he lives, what he does for a living … I guess handsome men are a stimulant.  

And then…and then … upon hearing that Brendan is Becca’s boyfriend, she asked them “So when are you two getting married?”

Nothing like being put on the spot by a grandma.  

No, they are not engaged,

Though perhaps I should say they are not engaged … yet.