Sunday Stealing

 

Family

 

Hi! I'm your host Bev Sykes of the blog "Funny the World". . Welcome to Sunday Stealing. This feature originated and published on WTIT: The Blog. Here we will steal all types of questions from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent questions. Cheers to all of us thieves!

 

 

 

Stolen from Print/Discuss

 

 

 

1. How big is your immediate family? Who are the members?

I have a mother, three younger sisters and two daughters. I am dating my ex husband Drew, the father of my two daughters, so I consider him family as well.

2. Who are you closest to in your family? What kind of relationship do you have with that person? Is it like friendship?

Drew, of course.

3. Which day of the year are you most likely to spend with your family?

Thanksgiving and the Jewish holidays of Rosh HaShanah and Passover

4. As a child, did you go on family trips? What do you remember about those vacations?

We only did three family trips that I can recall.  I was about 5 years old when we visited my mother's cousins in Maryland, and spent some time in Washington, DC.  I remember the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial and cherry blossoms.

I was 10 when we went to Lake George, NY. We went to Fort William Henry and to a couple of amusement parks,   And I save my 3 year old sister's life in the motel pool.

I was 14 when we went to Williamsburg, VA.  We almost had to cancel the trip because we got a flat tire on the New Jersey Turnpike.  I fell in love with American history on that trip, but my interest in European history was sparked by a display in Jamestown that showed Elizabethan England in all its glory.  I got a lesson in social justice at a rest stop  on I 95 in Maryland; the building looked like a southern plantation and still practiced de facto segregation.   Really.  The ladies' room on the second floor (where all the white ladies were) was neat and clean and pretty, the one on the first floor was disgusting, and there was a long line of ladies of color waiting to use the broken-down facilities.  And we stopped in Washington, DC for a day .  We saw the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial, and posed for pictures outside the White House.  We were at the White House four days before Richard Nixon resigned the presidency,  

5. Is there a black sheep in your family? What is different about them?

My cousin  did something so "horrible" that my father never mentioned her name.  I didn't know she existed until I was an adult.

What was my cousin's "crime", you might ask.  Well, my very blonde, very Jewish cousin married  an African-American man.  I suppose in 1968 that was horrifying to some, and I am sure my cousin did not have an easy time of it.  They were married for many years, until he died, and had beautiful children together.  

Attitudes change over the years, of course, and we reconnected with that branch of the family. 

My sisters and I took my kids to Six Flags one day, and we ran into my cousin's son and the son's girlfriend.  When my daughters asked me how we knew the handsome Black man, I told them "he's your cousin".  They looked at me quizzically for a moment, then accepted what I said and moved on.  I was not going to bring the prejudices of my father's generation  into my daughters' lives.  

6. Do you know your extended family? How many of them have you met?

My father was the youngest of five children.  I had 11 first cousins (several have passed away) .  I knew all of my cousins and all of their children.  I know some of the grandchildren but not all.

Neither of my mother's sisters had children.  I knew all of my mother's first cousins and I know some of their children and grandchildren.

7. Have you ever been to a family reunion? How was it?

I've never been to one.

8. Who are you most proud of among your relatives? Who do you look up to?

Now is the time I get to brag on my mother.  When my mother went to college in the 1950's, a woman's career choices were very limited.  She became a teacher.  She taught high school Social Studies.  Then she had four children and became a stay at home mother. She decided to go back to work when I was in high school, but finding a decent teaching position was difficult at the time.   She changed direction and took a Civil Service exam, and became a court clerk.  She'd tell me "I think I am smarter than half of the lawyers who walk into this courthouse."   Shortly after I graduated from law school, my mother enrolled in law school.  She was 54 years old when she started school, she went to school part time and worked full time.  Even a debilitating stroke couldn't keep her from her studies. She graduated, passed the bar exam, and took an attorney position with a state agency. 

9 What characteristics have you inherited from your parents? Do you look like them? Do you behave like they do?

I look like my father's family.  Except for my eyes, I have my mother's eyes. 

10. Does your family have any heirlooms? Will you inherit anything that has been in the family a long time?

I've posted about this before.

The Seder plate is a family heirloom, inherited from my paternal grandparents.  I never met my paternal grandparents, they died before I was born, but their memory lives on in a piece of china they bought as recent immigrants to this country, some time in the 1920's.  When I posted a picture of the plate on Facebook, my cousins were quick to share stories of long-ago Passover dinners at our grandparents' home, events that took place long before I was born, but part of the fabric of our family.

The back of the plate bears the inscription:  BARDIGER, London, and TEPPER, London with a circular seal that says, Manufactured by Ridgway England.

This design was first registered by Ridgways, the Staffordshire manufacturer of the plate, in 1923.

"Bardiger" is a retailer mark for Solomon Bardiger's china shop, which was  at 180 Brick Lane, London. Solomon was a Ukrainian immigrant (just like my grandparents who bought the plate!).  He came to England in 1890 and traded in a wide variety of goods, but became most well known for his Judaica table wares. It was he who commissioned Ridgways to make the plate.

In addition to red, the plate was also made in black, and in blue.

One of the blue plates found its way into the Brooklyn Children's Museum.  Another made it into the Spurlock Museum of World Cultures in Illinois.

11. What happens to old people in your family? Do they live with younger family members or move to a retirement home? How would you prefer to spend your old age?

My younger sisters live in my mother's house and take care of my mother,  as she is unable to care for herself.  They also took care of my father until he died.  

Drew's parents moved to Florida when they retired.  When his mother passed away, his father chose to stay in Florida.  Eventually he wound up in assisted living, and then a nursing home.  When things became too difficult long distance, Drew brought his father back to New York and found a nursing home here on Long Island.

I hope to remain independent as long as possible.  My daughters will have a lot to contend with, as  it is likely they will have to be responsible for my sisters as well as for me and Drew.

12. If you are married, how well do you get along with your in-laws?

I get along with Drew's family, or rather, what's left of his family.  His mother was ... difficult....but I bit my tongue a lot.

13. What do people mean when they say, “you can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family”?

I love my family and I respected my in-laws, but there have been times...

14. If you live far away from some members of your family, how do you keep in touch? How often do you communicate?

Facebook is a wonderful tool.  There are cousins I talk to that I might otherwise have lost touch with.

15. Are you so close to any of your friends that you consider them to be like family?

Yes, Drew and I have a small group of friends.  We've all known each other for ages.