Guilt
A moment of introspection.
I try to be a good person. I believe in social justice. I raise money for charity, I participate in our synagogue programs to collect food and clothing for a local outreach program...
But when confronted with reality...
I'm in Penn Station every day as part of my LIRR commute. It's my "guilty pleasure" to occasionally go up to the Amtrak level to grab a Krispy Kreme or head over to the food court for a Nathan's hot dog.
There are homeless people and professional beggars in Penn Station. Usually they'll come up to you and ask if you can help them out. I usualy smile and say "I can't right now", and leave it at that.
So I was in the food court the other night. Instead of my usual hot dog, I ordered some popcorn chicken from the KFC, and it took forever to fill my order. People who ordered after I did were getting their food before mine was ready, and I was aggravated.
And as soon as I sat down to eat, a homeless man walked over to where I was sitting. I just wanted to eat my chicken in peace, I didn't have the patience to deal with him. I tried to ignore him, but he wouldn't leave. And then he began his "down on my luck" story, and I just snapped. I told him "Go away!"
And since that night , I've felt awful about the way I treated him.
I try to be a good person. I believe in social justice. I raise money for charity, I participate in our synagogue programs to collect food and clothing for a local outreach program...
But when confronted with reality...
I'm in Penn Station every day as part of my LIRR commute. It's my "guilty pleasure" to occasionally go up to the Amtrak level to grab a Krispy Kreme or head over to the food court for a Nathan's hot dog.
There are homeless people and professional beggars in Penn Station. Usually they'll come up to you and ask if you can help them out. I usualy smile and say "I can't right now", and leave it at that.
So I was in the food court the other night. Instead of my usual hot dog, I ordered some popcorn chicken from the KFC, and it took forever to fill my order. People who ordered after I did were getting their food before mine was ready, and I was aggravated.
And as soon as I sat down to eat, a homeless man walked over to where I was sitting. I just wanted to eat my chicken in peace, I didn't have the patience to deal with him. I tried to ignore him, but he wouldn't leave. And then he began his "down on my luck" story, and I just snapped. I told him "Go away!"
And since that night , I've felt awful about the way I treated him.
I have very little experince with homeless. I know every community have them.
ReplyDeleteBut I can see how some one can every so often snap.
I bet this isn't first time someone snap at him.
Coffee is on
I'm sorry. I know what you mean.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you're allowed to not be accosted by people. Sure, he probably was down on his luck. And it would have been nice if you could help him. But, you get to be left alone, especially if things aren't going well. It's not your job to make things good for that guy. And it's not like you were violent, called the cops on him, or did any other thing that would have put him in danger. I hope today is a better day for you.