Divorce

 The Domestic Relations Law in New York mandates that, when spouses were married in a religious ceremony, the Plaintiff (the spouse commencing the action for divorce) must take, or must promise to take, all actions in his or her power to remove any barriers to the other spouse’s remarriage. No final judgment of divorce may be granted where the Plaintiff has failed to take these steps. The Defendant may waive his or her rights under this section of the Domestic Relations Law.

The law applies equally to men and women, it applies to people of any faith.  But the source of the law was the Jewish community.

Let me explain.  Just as Jewish religious law determines what constitutes a marriage, a marriage created under Jewish law must be dissolved in accordance with Jewish law.  While Reform Jews believe that a secular divorce is sufficient, Orthodox and Conservative Jews need a Get, a decree from the Bet Din (the rabbinical court) that the marriage was dissolved. 

If you read my description of Jewish wedding practices … you noticed that the groom initiates everything.  He gives the Ketubah to the bride.  He puts a ring on the bride’s finger.  The bride must consent, but she does not take affirmative steps to marry the groom. 

The same applies to divorce.  The husband drafts a Get, a bill of divorce, and hands it to the wife in the presence of witnesses.  Just as the bride must accept the marriage contract, the wife must also consent to the divorce.  The wife cannot initiate a divorce, though she can ask the Bet Din to put pressure on the husband.  

You can see the obvious problem.  Before New York enacted a law requiring the plaintiff to take steps to obtain a religious divorce, it was possible for a man to obtain a civil divorce but refuse to give his wife a religious divorce.  He would be relieved of all of the secular responsibilities of marriage, but the wife would be unable to move on because the religious community still viewed her as “married”.    He could use the religious divorce as a bargaining tool in obtaining a better settlement in the secular divorce.

I think my Get is in a safe deposit box …